Russell Hantz is a terrible Survivor player

I don’t usually indulge in schadenfreude, but it was awfully satisfying seeing Russell Hantz cry tonight.

My wife and I hadn’t watched Survivor for a few years, and happened to tune back in the year that Russell premiered. We remained baffled by the cult of personality built around this misogynist jackass. People were calling him the best Survivor player ever. Apparently in my time away from the show, it had introduced not only hidden immunity idols, but multiples, and they always sort of fell into his lap.

Russell’s strategy is simple. Create a bunch of chaos, befriend a pretty young girl or two, use that alliance to guide you to the end, then claim you deserve the million dollars for playing better than the girls. This strategy has failed twice, because both times people hated him and would rather give it to the pretty young girl. This is the best Survivor player?

Now it’s important to note that the second time, they began filming before his first season had aired. No one knew his strategy, because no one had seen him in action. It was an All-Stars game, but he was at an advantage because he was a mystery to everyone. Again, he took a pretty young thing thinking he would win against her for the million — did I mention he’s a misogynist jackass? And again, he lost.

You would think that this season, well after he’s built a reputation and everyone knows what he’s all about, he would change up his strategy. Try something new. Instead, he did the exact same thing. He found a couple of young girls, formed an alliance, searched for idols, etc. This time, everyone knew his game. This time, they got rid of him as fast as possible. Even with a second chance on Redemption Island, he lost to Jesus Boy. He proceeded to cry like a little bitch.

It seems like a good time to reexamine that “best player ever” label. He knows one trick, and it’s never worked. Let’s just let the cult of personality die, and stop bringing him back. We’ve had quite enough.

Now, to the vidjagamez.

I also found that my feature for 1UP had gone live today, The Games Most Likely to be Delayed into 2012. As usual, some commenters take it took it too seriously and freaked out, but for the most part it seems to be generating some good discussion.

I also published the latest in my Newsvine series of logical fallacies, this one on begging the question. I got double nerd points for talking about logical fallacies and misused idioms.

By the way, Celebrity Apprentice players, penultimate means “second to last.” It doesn’t mean “better than ultimate.”

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